You may try everything in your power to keep your divorce case between your soon-to-be former spouse and not involve your small child in this emotionally challenging process. However, you may be surprised when your child vocalizes that they have a preference in which parent they want to primarily or solely reside with. You may want to bring your child’s statement before the New Jersey family judge handling your case. Well, please read on to discover whether your child has the authority to choose which parent they prefer to live with and how a seasoned Bergen County child custody attorney at McNerney & McAuliffe can help you and your child get the outcome you want.
Can my child choose which parent they want to live with?
Generally speaking, the New Jersey family court does not consider your minor child, younger than 18 years old, to have the legal right to choose which parent they want to live with. However, this is not to say that they will not consider your child’s expressed preference. There is no set age at which the court will decide to listen; rather, they will determine whether your child carries themselves as a mature individual and whether they bring forward reasonable explanations and informed opinions.
That said, your child may not have to endure the pressure of speaking publicly in your litigated divorce proceedings. Rather, their message may be relayed by a custody evaluator ordered by the court, a guardian ad litem appointed by the court, or a private interview with the judge in their office.
What if my child is being influenced by my former spouse’s badmouthing?
Sadly, you may pick up on signs that your child is becoming resentful or angry towards you. While this unprecedented behavior may have been prompted by the news of your divorce, you may be equally suspicious of your soon-to-be former spouse badmouthing you in front of your child. In turn, they may get the idea in their head that they no longer want to live with you post-divorce case.
You must not panic at this time. Instead, it is in your best interest to sit down with your child and openly communicate about what their issues with you are. If they give reasons as to why they are critical of you, calmly offer counter-examples of how your behaviors, actions, and parenting styles do not accurately reflect their portrayal of you. And if you are still amicable with your former spouse, you may want to reach out to them and kindly ask them to not speak negatively of you when your child is in their presence.
If this cannot be resolved in this way, you may need to consult with your attorney and come up with an ironclad strategy for your upcoming custody case proceedings. No matter what, you do not need to feel alone in this process. A competent Bergen County child custody attorney is ready to be in your corner and support you throughout. So please reach out to McNerney & McAuliffe whenever you are ready.