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Even though you informed your spouse that you wish to get a divorce, this does not necessarily mean you want to cut ties completely. That is, your marriage may not have worked out, but you may still love them, respect them, and wish to remain civil for the sake of your small children. For these reasons, you may push them to attend mediation sessions with you. But out of spite or for whatever other reasons, they may deny your persistent requests. Well, please follow along to find out what happens when your spouse is unwilling to try mediation, and how a proficient Bergen County divorce attorney at McNerney & McAuliffe can help stop this process from becoming any more difficult than it has to be.

What happens if I want to try mediation but my spouse is unwilling?

Even though your attorney may advise you that mediation is the strongly recommended option for handling divorce cases in the state of New Jersey, the most you can do is try to convince your spouse to agree. That is, you cannot “force” your spouse to participate in this alternative divorce method, as this is a voluntary process. 

If the family court gets word that you wrongfully coerced your spouse through manipulation or threats, there may be serious consequences. Namely, they may invalidate any agreement that was reached here. But also, they may order you to pay for your spouse’s legal expenses, find you suspicious of domestic violence, and worst of all, hold you in contempt of court.

What are my options if my spouse refuses mediation completely?

Once you accept that your spouse is unwilling to budge on their stance on mediation, you may move along with New Jersey’s standard divorce litigation process. This means filing a Complaint for Divorce with the Superior Court, Family Part, in your county of residence. Then, formally serve your spouse with divorce papers and wait for any of their counterclaims.

The discovery process, case management conferences, and trial dates may follow afterwards. It is worth mentioning, though, that even if your spouse denies private mediation, the family court may order mandatory attendance at an Early Settlement Panel. This may be to address financial disputes, immediate parenting-time schedules, etc.

If you are lucky, your spouse may come around after having a positive experience in these panel sessions. Well, rest assured, it is not too late to revisit the mediation option. For this, you may simply ask your attorney to pause litigation. Ultimately, doing so may save you and your spouse a lot of time, money, and unnecessary tensions and tears in your relationship.

If you want to ensure you have a strong legal strategy with a reliable team in your corner, please look no further than McNerney & McAuliffe. A talented Bergen County family law attorney from our law firm is ready to be of any service to you.

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